Dead Dog: Part One

I am struggling to cope
     in a thousand moments
     on   these days 
          grinding by 
          like sand paper
          too fast and too slow 
          to know what to do with

     in this moment specifically
     with the understanding
     that I will never see you 
                       grow old

I found you
  at a time in my life
  where my existence
        felt painfully 
             finite
And

You found me 
    at a time in your life
    where you needed a mother
                 and a structure
    and I loved providing 
                every bit of it

Every credit
      for my ability to see
      weeks, months, years
      down the road 
      belongs to you, and you alone
And

Because of you
I chose to stay

Time will pass without you
     but the specifics of how
         remain a mystery to me

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