Not a Masochist

Though I am well-versed in pain
the only kind I seek out, or find 
myself leaning into, has a growth finish

   aching muscles
   deep tissue massage
   struggling to understand
   teaching myself how to learn

Endurance of my non-optional, deteriorative
condition means I have spent all the days
of my life so immersed in pain
that I am truly refreshed by the
kind of temporary discomfort which
leads to something greater

The sacrifice has purpose
A balanced transaction
The end will justify the means

It will end
It will end
It will end

Dissonance resolving itself in due time
dropping tones before anyone becomes uncomfortable
mentally exhausted by the end, but grateful to have had
                                            the experience

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